Loch Fyne Oyster Bar & Deli, Scotland

I drive past this remote restaurant regularly and always think to myself that it would be right up my good lady’s street.

With both of us having a rare midweek day off work, we jumped in the car and headed up the Rest and Be Thankful towards Cairndow on the edge of the Scottish Highlands.

With the sun splitting the mountains and the air con in the car cranked up full, it was a very un-Scottish afternoon indeed. And following a lovely drive through Argyll, we arrived at Loch Fyne Oyster Bar & Deli on the A83.

Now, there was a problem right from the start as I simply do not do seafood. Unless it’s in brine and comes from a can, all fish can fuck right off. As for crustaceans…just no.

When I explained this to the staff, they helpfully agreed that I could buy something from the adjoining deli if Mrs G ordered from the restaurant’s regular menu – which she was always gonna do.

So I got a mince pie (no, I’m afraid I’m not joking) from the deli and added a portion of chips. I looked a right wanker eating that in a place famous for it’s apparently gorgeous seafood, but what you gon’ do.

I have to say, the mince pie was great and the chips were decent. And the deli offered up all kinds of awesome grub, both seafood and not. I also grabbed a few cream cheese stuffed red peppers, which were brilliant.

But that’s not why we were here.

Mrs Gangsta went for the Half Roasted Tarbert Lobster with garlic butter and chips. Asked to describe it, she said it was “tender and succulent.”

Damn girl, you ain’t doing shit for my street cred with words like that. Keeping it real, the shit was fucking grade-A lobster from right here in Scotland.

To my untrained eye, it looked like there was more meat on it than I’d have expected and she even busted out the cracker tool thing to get right in amongst its claws and shit. Yuck…

Still, this was all about her and she was more than impressed.

Great food, a lovely setting and staff who can even cater for heathens like me. Hats off Loch Fyne Oyster Bar & Deli, y’all got it goin’ on.

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