The River Inn, Houston, Scotland

A sunny day in Scotland – this shit happens so infrequently that you gotta make the most of it.

Having sweltered in the office all day, I drove right and home and Mrs Gangsta and I jumped in the car with the intention of having dinner al fresco. That means outdoors, moron.

Having previously enjoyed a meal at The River Inn in Houston, Renfrewshire, we remembered they had a small outdoor seating area. So that’s where we headed.

Pulling into the car park, we both wondered out loud why there wasn’t a single person sitting outside when the early evening sun was pounding and the temperature was as welcoming as can be.

Then we opened the car door and were immediately assaulted with a smell of shite so strong we damn near sped away from the scene. Farmers…fuck y’all.

But since we were here and I knew this place serves up good food and even better beer, we went inside. We were shown to a lovely booth and checked out the menu. We were a little too late for the three course deal, so this was gonna be a little more pricey than it could have been.

I ordered a pint of delicious Menabrea lager and Mrs G went for orange juice and lemonade. For starters, we chose pate and a portion of haggis bonbons, both of which were decent if not life-changing.

However, the main event was what we were here for – and The River Inn did not disappoint. Mac and cheese with thick chunks of bacon might not sound like the ideal dish for a hot summer’s night, but I lapped it up. Gorgeous chips and garlic bread on the side made this one meal I couldn’t quite finish, not for want of trying.

Mrs G made short work of her scampi, and even helped clear my plate.

What was meant to be a nice meal in the sun ended up being a superb one indoors, complete with great beer and top service.

As we walked back to the car, the friendliest ginger cat in the world galloped towards us to say hello. The crazy little fucker then followed us over to the car and jumped right on in.

Maybe he just wanted someone to save him from the pungent stench of poop-covered fields.

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