The Cabin, Mallaig, Scotland

Picture the scene…four thoroughly ‘refreshed’ wedding guests have gone a little too far the night before the main event.

They stagger – ravenous and raucous – down Mallaig’s picturesque Davies Brae in search of chips as midnight approaches. On the corner sits The Cabin restaurant, boasting that it offers a damn fine fish and chips (or fish supper, using the local parlance.)

Problem is, the restaurant closed hours ago. But mercifully, a warm, welcoming glow emits from a door up the lane alongside The Cabin and a simple sign reading ‘takeaway’ brings smiles to four drunken faces.

The hungry hunters head up the alley and into a doorway where, at the end of a short corridor, is a tiny serving hatch that looks more like a place to do a drug deal than buy a post-bevvy meal.

At this stage in the proceedings, deep fried food would be the finest drug on earth to our four jaked tourists.

“Three fish suppers and one chips and curry sauce please,” says one of the pissheads. A man replies that they’ll need about 20 minutes. As disappointing as that news initially feels, it quickly becomes apparent that this is fish cooked as fresh as can be – and was no doubt pulled from the water just yards away.

The fearless four pay for the grub and head to the pub next door for another ill-advised drink. Collecting the food a little later, they then walk the few steps to the edge of Mallaig harbour and take a seat on one of the many benches before utterly demolishing the finest fish suppers any of them have tasted in quite some time.

And the one who went for chips and curry sauce mumbles similar praise through a mouthful of potato.

The fish is damn straight the best this reviewer has ever tasted from a chippy, with the batter perfectly crisp and just the right amount mushy. The chips are spot on, with salt and vinegar applied in the correct quantity.

No word of a lie, The Cabin’s takeaway fish and chips is brilliant in every way. And I’d bet anyone taking a seat inside during business hours would be just as impressed – blind drunk or not.

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